Emotions

As most of you already know my Dad had a heart attack on Thursday. The emotions that I have went through the last couple of days are undescribable.

I wasn't prepared for the phone call that said your dad is having chest pains, is clammy, and having problems breathing. We are taking him by ambulance to the hospital as a precautionary measure. I'm not stupid, the signs were there. My dad was having a heart attack! And I was scared beyond belief.

I am about to be 31 years old, but I NEED my dad! I love him and I am not ready to lose him. His grandkids need him, I need him. Please GOD don't take him.

I immediately went to Fond du Lac to be with him. Surprisingly he looked good, and was in pretty good spirits. Told me I didn't have to come to the hospital. The doctors told him they were gonna keep him for the night just to make sure everything was okay. The EKG's looked good, but just wanted to make sure. They would do a stress test on Friday and if that looked good he would go home. I was relieved!

That night they had done some blood work that showed some elevated enzymes, which I guess points towards heart problems. The stress test was cancelled and instead a balloon type procedure would be done with possible shunts if needed. Well, this is where the fun begins! My dad's left side of his heart was blocked and a main artery was 100% blocked and they put in 5 shunts. Little did I know until today that my dad was seconds away from having emergency open heart surgery. It was worse than what the doctor's had thought. Thank God they did the blood work.

God wasn't ready to take him yet, and I couldn't be happier!

Today he was released from the hospital and my sister and I and the grandkids went to visit. He was in really good spirits, despite the fact that he has given up cigars (hopefully for good). I would hate to say that I took my parents for granted before this, but I guess in some ways I did. I don't consider them "old" and I would like to think they will be around for a very very long time. But the truth of the matter is, is that we aren't guaranteed tomorrow! So live everyday like it's your last, because it really might be. Thankfully, Thursday wasn't my dad's last day. And I couldn't be more grateful to the Lord for that.

Tonight was hard to leave Mayville. I wanted to stay with my dad even though I could tell he was tired and needed is rest, but I wanted to make sure he would really be okay. And saying good-bye tonight was hard.

Hopefully the worry and being scared part will slowly fade, but for now, I'm worried and I'm scared. ALOT! Putting my trust in the Lord is so hard. Because I need to be in control, that's the type of person I am. And handing it over to someone else isn't easy. I pray that God helps me with that. Cause man it's not easy!

I ask those reading this to continue to pray for my dad. Cause I'm sure he's scared as well and could really use some comfort. Hopefully his faith will help him through.